How to Handle the Holidays When Your Husband Is In Midlife Crisis
I'm not going to lie, the holidays really are hard when your husband is going through midlife crisis. You feel like the joy has been sucked out of you. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other, but you know you need to make an effort for everyone around you. He may be celebrating with you or he may be off spending it with his affair partner and her family or even celebrating alone. The main thing to remember is to give him space. He is living his mlc life, so you need to focus on you and live yours. You are in charge of your own happiness. Not him.
Here Are 3 Things You Can Do:
Acknowledge your feelings: Do a thought download every morning, get all those feelings and thoughts out of your head. This helps to clear your mind.
Instead of "wishing" things were better, focus on the now: What you can enjoy right now in this moment? Are your parents alive? Are his parents alive? Are your kids with you? Are you celebrating with friends?
Be grateful for who you have in your life right this very minute. We never know how long we have so enjoy every minute with the people in your life right now. This is the biggest lesson I learned this year. My husband’s mlc taught me to enjoy the now. I was grateful for every moment of my mom’s life this year, right up until we lost her on May 31st. That has been one of the biggest silver linings of mlc.
With your mlc husband: -Acknowledge that he's in pain, going through a crisis (he may not look like he’s in pain, but he is) give him space. Instead of asking him, "Are you coming to open presents with us? Say, "We're opening presents Tuesday night, we would love to have you." That way it's an invitation, not an obligation. Treat him as you normally would during the holidays. He's your husband. He may be off doing crazy crap, but he's still your husband and you love him unconditionally. Set a good example for your kids.
I know these are some tough times, but it won't be forever. One of my coaches always said, "What's a few 'crappy' Christmas' in a lifetime of 50 or 60 years?" Look at the bigger picture. This isn't forever. Don't give him the power to steal your ability to enjoy the present moment. Your happiness depends on you, no one else.
With love and many many hugs,
Amy
P.S. If you're not in our private group why not? We have a fabulous admin team and members to support you during the holidays. Join our group!