Between the three of us—Jenn, Grace, and myself—we’ve lived it.

We’ve stood. We’ve cried. We’ve obsessed.

And we’ve come out the other side with more clarity, calm, and strength than we ever thought possible.

Now we’re teaching you exactly what helped us survive it.

Let’s get one thing straight: Ruminating about the affair partner isn’t actually about her.

Midlife crisis depression often appears differently from clinical depression. Instead of overt sadness or withdrawal, many men mask their emotional struggles with behaviors that appear more externalized and destructive.

But here’s the hard truth: she’s not the problem.

The rules of coping during a midlife crisis are counterintuitive. The ways you might have connected with your spouse in the past no longer work.

Most of us spend so much of our time resisting and avoiding dealing with our emotions, but they are just our feelings. They can't hurt us.

You are in charge of your own happiness. Not him.

Nothing brings them home really until they are ready to emerge. They do it in their own time, not yours, and not because other men have come home in 3 years.

Worrying is always about the future. Stay focused in the now, in the present.

The concept of 50/50 taught me that life isn’t supposed to be 100% happy all of the time. There needs to be a contrast, otherwise you don’t appreciate what you have.

“It was a 2 1/2 hour plane ride and her only knowledge of mlc seemed to be this stereotype. Thus the reason for writing this blog post on the “8 Myths of Midlife Crisis.” But here’s the thing, a real midlife crisis goes much deeper than that.”

You need women on your team who are supportive, positive and will help you get through this, not drag you down. These friends are your life line. They get it. They will be your friends for life.

“You can go to your cave, just don’t camp out and live there.”

This service tech mentioned he was divorced and the more he talked, the more I knew he had gone through midlife crisis or was still going through one. It’s funny how he could let it all out with me - a total stranger.

You want things back the way they were. But let’s think beyond that just for a minute.

Letting go doesn’t mean you aren’t standing for your marriage. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t love them. You do. You don’t let go to “punish them.” You let go for you, for your own mental health.

My husband had many triggers that could have caused this, but I think a huge trigger for him was the fact that I nearly died twice and the last time was a doozy..

You love your kids unconditionally. If they screw up, get into drugs, become an alcoholic, do you abandon them? No. Even if they kill someone, you don’t abandon them. You may not agree or like what they are doing, but you love them unconditionally. You may set boundaries with them but you will always love them. So why don’t you love your husband the same way?

"But he doesn’t know what to do because he doesn’t understand that his feelings of dissatisfaction aren’t about you, they’re about his inability to feel. So too often, he assumes that he doesn’t love his wife any longer and starts to pursue his need for love elsewhere.” He’s looking for a solution to make him feel better.

The midlife crisis is not what you think it is. Not even close. No one ever prepares you for this. We know about kids leaving the nest, we know about aging parents but this? The end of your marriage as you know it??? No one ever told me about this. Turns out midlife crisis is a real thing.