Life is 50/50
One of the best things I’ve learned from my two of my coaches - Cookie Rosenblum and Brooke Castillo is the concept of 50/50, meaning you aren’t supposed to be happy all of the time. There should always be a balance of negative and positive. For some reason I always thought you were “supposed to be happy all of the time”, or that was at least the goal. I really did feel like the majority of my life was about 80/20 until my husband’s midlife crisis hit. Then my life turned into 05/95 meaning I felt down and depressed 95% of the time - for a long time. 2020 and 2021 were probably the worst years of my entire life.
But I’ve learned a lot these last few years and life is what you make it. You can let your husband’s midlife crisis get you down and destroy your life, or you can pick yourself up and learn to create your own happiness again.
When you're single, you know you're 100% responsible for your own happiness. Then, when you start dating, your new partner adds to your happiness, and it can feel like you're on cloud nine—like you're at 110%. But as the relationship deepens, often you begin to expect them to keep supplying that extra happiness. Expectations can weaken relationships and can even cause the death of relationships. Over time, you might even start blaming your partner when you’re unhappy, shifting the responsibility for your joy onto their shoulders instead of your own.
The concept of 50/50 taught me that life isn’t supposed to be 100% happy all of the time. There needs to be a contrast, otherwise you don’t appreciate what you have. Nature even shows us that. Look at the seasons: Winter/Summer, Spring/Fall. And even Death and Birth. Without dark, we can’t appreciate the light. Without evil, we can’t appreciate the good. Without negative, we can’t appreciate the positive. Life is a balance. We have to embrace all of our emotions - negative and positive.
For some reason we think everything should be all good. We think there should be no evil in the world. But that’s not how life was designed. There is a balance. This is actually a very freeing thought. You aren’t responsible for making your life 100% happy all of the time. It’s ok to be down sometimes. You love feeling happy but you have to learn to embrace and feel the negative emotions as well and know they are just a part of life. You may think there is something wrong with you because your life is not “perfect.” It may seem that everyone has a “perfect” and “better life,” especially when you look at what people post on social media. But their lives are not perfect either. Everyone has this 50/50 life. And that is what is so freeing. The goal is not to be 100% happy all of the time.
The 50/50 concept reminds us that life is always a mix of the good and the not-so-good—and that’s okay. When we build the emotional strength to embrace all our feelings, both positive and negative, we unlock a whole new level of freedom. Here’s the secret: if you’re willing to feel those uncomfortable emotions instead of running from them, you’ll open up the door to so much more in your life. Yes, feeling your lows could be lower, but your highs will be higher. Life will stop feeling like something you just survive and start feeling like something you create—something bigger and better. Learning to handle discomfort isn’t just a skill; it’s the path to creating your best life - the life that the little voice inside you has been dreaming about.